Hey Coach Kat,

A friend of mine damaged something of mine the other day. She tried to fix it but did not do a good job. I know she tried her best, but I am disappointed that it is still not as good as the original version. How should I deal with the emotions that have come up from this situation?

Kelly S.

Hey Kelly,

It’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions in this situation. Disappointment, frustration, and even a sense of loss are understandable when something valuable to you is damaged, even more so when the restoration attempt falls short of your expectations.

Here’s a way to navigate these feelings:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important to recognize and accept your emotions without judgment. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel upset about the situation.
• Communicate Openly: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your friend. Express your feelings honestly but kindly. It’s not about blaming but sharing how the situation has impacted you. This can be a healing process for both of you.
• Seek a Solution Together: Discuss if there’s a way to further repair or replace the item. Sometimes, finding a practical solution can help alleviate emotional distress.
• Focus on the Relationship: Remember the value of your friendship. Objects can often be repaired or replaced, but a good friendship is irreplaceable. Reflect on the effort your friend made to fix the issue, as it shows their care and concern for you.
• Practice Forgiveness and Letting Go: Holding onto resentment can be more damaging to you than to anyone else. Try to forgive, not because the situation is okay, but because you deserve peace. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to move forward.
• Learn and Grow: Every experience, especially the challenging ones, offers an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on what you can learn from this incident. Maybe it’s about setting boundaries, communicating expectations, or the importance of forgiveness and understanding in relationships.
• Self-Care: Take some time for yourself. Engage in activities that uplift your spirit and bring you joy. Self-care is crucial in managing emotions and maintaining perspective.

Remember, it’s a process. Emotions don’t resolve overnight, but with time, open communication, and a focus on the bigger picture – your friendship – you can navigate through this.

Stay strong and true to your feelings. You’ve got this!

Warmly, Coach Kat